Several years ago I sought Grandmother Aya’s guidance and wisdom regarding my shamanic healing skills. I have been a practicing allopathic physician for over thirty years, spending much of my time caring for the sickest patients in intensive care units. In that role I am confident in my abilities and quite easily slip into the ‘zone’. My confidence in my shamanic healing skills was more tenuous. I felt as if I was missing something – a kernel of knowledge, some deep insight that was preventing me from truly stepping in to my shamanic healing practice. I was hoping Grandmother would show me what I was missing.
As is the way with Grandmother, her wisdom and guidance was beyond anything I could have imagined. With stunning clarity, I was shown that whatever it was that I thought I was missing was already within me. My search for an ‘outside’ answer was a fool’s errand. Towards the end of my journey, I was guided to dive deep into myself where I would find my unique skill set. I was left with the feeling that there might come a time in the future when I would be called again to sit with Grandmother. I left that experience determined to follow her guidance.
Several years later I felt her call. Through what might have seemed an unlikely set of circumstances had I not been familiar with the ways of Aya I found myself in the jungles of Mexico, preparing to sit again with Grandmother. Under the guidance of a gifted Ayahuascera, the ceremony had a completely different energy than anything I had experienced. I sensed magic in the air. As I prepared to meet grandmother I set my intention to fully step into my power and reclaim my magic. On a deep level I knew I would be offered an opportunity to show what I had learned in the years since my last visit with Grandmother.
Sure enough, after what seemed to be an opportunity for me to refamiliarize myself with Abuela’s world, it was show time.
First I was met by Sachamama, the Great Serpent. In my shamanic world she is of the South. Amongst many, many other skills, she teaches us to shed our past as she sheds her skin. She shows us how to walk the way of beauty. She slowly wrapped her coils around me and proceeded to peer into my heart. I knew at that moment if my heart was not pure she would squeeze the life force from my body. She saw what I knew to be true. My heart was pure.
Soon thereafter Otorongo – Mother, Sister jaguar came to me. She has no enemies in this world or the next. She teaches us the ways of fearlessness. She has shown me how to walk with gentle strength and courage. Before I could walk by her side across the rainbow bridge into infinity I knew I must be free of doubt and fear. Better than anyone, she can sense fear. With her hot, fetid breath completely engulfing me she, too, peered into my very essence and confirmed what I knew to be true. I was fearless.
With Sachamama wrapped around me and Otorongo at my side, we walked across the rainbow bridge to the land of Sewa Kinti, hummingbird. From the North, Sewa Kinti embodies the strength and faith required to undertake the epic journeys we face on our path. Once across the bridge I was greeted by the Ancient Ones; the grandmothers and grandfathers; the guardians and keepers of this world. With deep gratitude I honored all that have lived before me and those yet to arrive; my children’s children.
Finally, Great Condor, Eagle, Apuchin, came to me from her mountain top in the land of the rising sun. She sees the great picture as well as the smallest details. Taking us under her wing, she shows us the way of flight. As we flew wingtip to wingtip to Apu Asingati to meet Great Spirit I showed her I had learned her gift of seeing.
This was my final check ride before I could take my seat at the table. Surrounded by all of my powerful guides, I sat at the feet of Great Spirit where I was given a message; my task for this lifetime. I am a Man of Medicine, all medicines. I am to share my medicine with all in need. I will teach others how to know other worlds; how to communicate with all of our relations – the 4 legged, the 2 legged, the creepy crawlers, the finned, the furred and the winged ones; the stone people, the plant spirits, the spirits of rain, wind, fire; the rivers and the oceans. For how can we be of service to Pachamama, Great Mother, if we do not know all of her beauty? How can we help heal her if we cannot communicate with her and learn what she needs?
From there I was presented with a number of trials. I was challenged to either accept my true understanding and embrace my power or dismiss my truth as so much hocus pocus. I recognized the dark spirit of the wind that blew across my face; with that recognition, the darkness disappeared. I called in the cool breeze, and knew that it was not just a coincidence that the moment I felt the need for the breeze, it appeared. I joined the conversations and the laughter of the birds who took great joy in watching our ceremony. I encouraged the tiny ants to find a different way home so as not to be squashed by a careless foot. I learned from cousin grasshopper that the noise from the surrounding construction was making their communication difficult. These were just a few of the opportunities presented to me.
With each opportunity my confidence grew until I made my way back to this reality with Jaguar on one side, Serpent around my shoulders, Hummingbird and Condor flying ahead.
I have never felt more at home nor more at peace. And that was my final lesson.